Direct to you from last night's shift, wicked words of wisdom from Crack City ER's charge nurse to belligerent patient after polite attempts at diffusing a situation failed:
"Sir, as a nurse, I will clean your ass, I will wipe your ass, I will even stick my fingers up your ass. I will exhaust every effort to save your ass. BUT, I will NOT go so low as to kiss your ass. And rest assuredly, if you continue to piss me off, I will not hesitate to kick your ass! Now plant your ass down or I will take your temperature with my boot!"
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
24 comments:
Awesome!
Half the reason I am going into emergency medicine is simply to be present when the ED nurses get pissed!
"I will take your temperature with my boot." those are the greatest words I've heard in a long time and I long to use them, too bad I work for a hospital where their slavish idolization to the Press-Ganey score is more imporant than the nursing staff well being and it is the unwritten expectation that we put up with all sorts of abuse so the customer will be happy.
I want that printed on a T shirt - or perhaps those posters stating that anyone abusing staff will be prosecuted.
Cracking..
Max
Dude, that rules, but I'd be soooo totallllyyyyy fireddddd.
Hi Charity doc- I am not one to be confrontational like that but i am guessing he must have been a doozy of a patient. Good for her! That's hilarious!!
I am copying that to send to some ED nurses I know - which no doubt will evoke some smiles while simultaneously commiserating with her. :)
That is the funniest thing I've read all day. That is awesome!
That is the funniest thing I've read all day. Wouldn't want to piss her off. That is awesome
You gotta love those fiesty ER nurses!
that's priceless.
i have had the week from hell, dealing with rude, obnoxious, know-it-all patients. i would love to say something like that, but fear of getting sued or getting a complaint keeps me from doing so.
my favourite was last night when i went to see a 70 year old lady with left sided paresthesia. her BP was 180/110. she told me she had not taken her meds in a year, including her BP meds, ASA and lipitor. so, i said to her that she really needs to take those medications, so that she won't suffer a nasty outcome, like a stroke or heart attack.
her daughter pulls me aside later on in the evening and tells me "how dare you talk to my mother like that? you are condescending and treating her like a child. you really need to work on your bedside manner." um, hello, i am not your friend or your buddy. i am a health care professional - one that is supposed to tell you to take prescribed medications. what kind of doctor would i be if i didn't say anything??? i found out later that they had visited another hospital and then left because they didn't like the way the staff "treated them." more like how they treated the staff...
we also had the lovely coke addicts, coming in because they cut themselves in the garden and need dilaudid for the pain! or they lost their prescriptions for demerol!
so, i think that charge nurse speaks for all of us with her comments!!! way to go!
I don't know what possesses people to behave so awfully in the ER. I've been there in all kinds of pain and agony, but I try to be nice to the staff because they're supposed to be helping me. I wish people would treat others the way they'd like to be treated.
Spewed wine all over my monitor. Great story.
That is definitely the highlight of my day! I am definitely buying a tee-shirt if they ever come up with one! Wish i could say that but i too would be soooooo fired!
Oh dear...thank you for the laugh. I didn't think I'd be laughing for awhile yet....and rest assured I shall use that phrase, in fact as far as I am concerned it is ER "Scripture"!
That's awesome! :) Thank you for sharing that.
Now thats a lot of ass talk.
I love your charge nurse - and your hospital if he/she can say that and still have a job!!!
I think I just came. I love it.
I too love this. I've worked at only one hospital where this kind of talk was tolerated and it always felt great to be able to speak my mind when pushed by a patient's bull$%#&. I agree with ernursery though. Can't do that at my current hospital. No one will have your back, especially management-who cares what nurses have to put up with as long as the patients are happy happy happy.
Man - the last time I was able to say something like THAT in the ER was when I was in the Navy taking care of our own who was a bit out of order.... ER Nurses ROCK!
bitch
CAN I USE THAT DURING MY NEXT SHIFT?
OMG that's priceless! Thanks for the laugh! Too bad that we have to think of customer satisfaction ratings... I would love to use that sometime!
As a nurse with 27 years of experience, I have hought this many a time as a ER 3rd shifter. Now as a long term care nurse (yep...nursing home) this thoughts are for the families that only come to see someone when they are dying.
Post a Comment