Lawsuit #5 - The Philandering Plaintiff

Oh my defense attorney was good. She was phenomenal. She was a bull dog!

"Sir, are you married?....Have you ever had an affair on your wife?... How many women have you cheated on her with?...."

Oooh she grilled him good. She grilled him like red meat on flaming charcoal brisquettes.

His face was fuming MAD! Red, red, red fuming MAD as he was forced to answer these questions. And his wife was in the room, too! SWEET!!! The plaintiff attorney tried desperately to intervene with numerous outburst of "Objections!!!" and argued unsuccessfully that these questions were irrelevant to the case. Yes, my attorney was like a bull dog. She latched on, ripped around, and wouldn't let go until the guy cried uncle!

He was a 57 y/o guy who came into my Crack City ED on a very busy night of typical chaos. We had no room left in the inn so I saw him in a chair in the hallway. His complaint was wrist pain. He reported that he was helping a friend move and had been carrying a heavy washing machine down a flight of stairs. He was at the bottom bracing the full weight of the machine while his friend was at the top keeping it leveled. He stated that his friend lost grip and the whole washing machine came crashing down on him. He took the full brunt of the load and reported a crush injury to his dominant wrist and hand. I inspected the area per routine. He moaned when I squeezed it. Positive snuff box tenderness. Moderate swelling to the wrist and dorsum of the hand. No redness, slightly warm compared to the other side. No signs of cellulitis or lymphangitis. AROM intact (active range of motion). Median, ulnar and radial nerve functions were all intact as well. Strong radial pulse, brisk capillary refills in the fingers. Review of system was unremarkable. No fever, no constitutional symptoms. Ah Bach...I failed to ask him if he had any penile discharge. I routinely do ask this question to screen for GC with all complaints of joint pain but this time, for some reason, I forgot to. I guess I was fooled and too quickly taken in my the impressive story for trauma as a mechanism of injury. The damn washing machine landed on his wrist so now he has pain. Simple crush injury case right? I don't recall him telling me whether he had pain or swelling before the incident, but he alleged that he did. I ordered xrays of his wrist, of course. They were unremarkable. No fractures. So he was splinted. Modified volar-thumb spica splint, arm sling, discharged home with some nonsteroidals and referral for follow up with orthopod on call. Usual discharge instructions. RICE, return to ED if worsening or unimproved symptoms.

To make the story short, he had gonococcal septic arthritis. As the week went along, his wrist got worse. He never followed up with the orthopedic surgeon that I had referred him to and returned to our ED for re-evaluation 8 days later. He was now febrile. The wrist was markedly swollen, red, hot, and angry. One of the physician partner in my group stuck a needle in his wrist and performed the needed arthrocentesis. Pure pus came out. The Gram stain showed G. negative diplococci and the culture was positive for N. gonorrhea. The orthopod on call took him to the OR and washed him out. He sued me for a misdiagnosis and wanted a lottery size amount of $$$$$$. I guess he expected that I had a crystal ball shoved up my ass. How was I suppose to know that he had "the clap" when he came in reporting a crush injury to his wrist and hand?!!

"Mr. Phil Landerer, have you ever solicited a prostitute?...How did you get gonorrhea?"

Oh GAWD, it was sweet. My attorney was so worth all the money we threw at her. We prevailed as the practice standard of care was proven. For every greedy plaintiff attorney, there is a lovable defense attorney, and mine is just amazing. She has successfully defended me time and time again against all of these frivolous bullshit.